By: Shelbi Goble, MS, LMHC | PILLARS OF WELLNESS

If you’ve ever coached, parented, or been an athlete, you’ve likely seen it: The athlete who trains hard, shows up consistently, performs well… and still doubts themselves.
Confidence in sport isn’t just about performance. The pressure, identity, expectations, and internal dialogue shape it; and across sports and levels, many athletes struggle with confidence that feels unstable, rising with success and crashing with setbacks.
So, the question becomes: How do we build confidence that actually lasts?

The Hidden Struggle Behind “Mentally Tough” Athletes

Athletes are often described as mentally tough, and many are. But the same traits that drive performance can also create vulnerability. Across sports, athletes commonly experience:

• Perfectionism and fear of failure
• Performance anxiety
• Negative self-talk
• Over-identification with sport performance and the athletic identity
• Constant comparison to others

These patterns can create a fragile, unstable confidence. When confidence depends on outcomes, such as wins, stats, and rankings, it becomes inconsistent and difficult to sustain.
Research consistently shows that confidence is not a fixed trait, but a dynamic construct influenced by context, experience, and psychological processes (Vealey, 2001).

Why Traditional “Mindset” Approaches Fall Short

Many mental training approaches emphasize controlling thoughts:

• “Stay positive”
• “Replace negative self-talk”
• “Be confident”

But here’s the reality: you cannot fully control your thoughts, especially under pressure.
In fact, trying to eliminate doubt often amplifies it. Athletes can become stuck in a cycle of:

• Fighting thoughts
• Becoming more aware of them
• Feeling even less in control

This creates more anxiety and self-doubt, not less. What athletes need isn’t better thought control, but rather a different relationship with their internal experiences.

A More Effective Approach: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), developed by Steven C. Hayes, offers a different framework.
Instead of trying to change the content of thoughts, ACT focuses on increasing psychological flexibility, the ability to stay present, open, and engaged in meaningful action, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and emotions (Hayes et al., 2012).
Psychological flexibility allows athletes to:

• Experience anxiety and self-doubt without being controlled by it
• Notice negative thoughts without buying into or attaching to them
• Stay present during performance
• Act in alignment with values, not fear or avoidance

In other words, an athlete can think: “I’m feeling nervous… and I can still perform.”

The Core Processes That Build Real Confidence

ACT develops psychological flexibility through six interconnected processes:
1. Acceptance
Athletes learn to make space for discomfort (e.g., anxiety, pressure, fatigue) rather than avoiding it. Avoidance may reduce short-term discomfort but limit long-term performance (Hayes et al., 2006).
2. Cognitive Defusion
Instead of getting stuck, or fusing with thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” athletes learn to see thoughts as mental events, not facts. This reduces the impact of thoughts or feelings on behavior.
3. Present-Moment Awareness
Focus shifts from past mistakes or future outcomes to what is happening right now, where performance actually occurs (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).
4. Self-as-Context
Athletes develop a broader sense of self that is not defined by performance, results, or temporary setbacks, including body acceptance. Through this, they also broaden their identity outside of their sport. Who am I outside of being an athlete?
5. Values Clarification
Rather than chasing outcomes, athletes identify what truly matters to them, such as growth, effort, teamwork, and resilience, and use those concepts as a compass to direct choice and action.
6. Committed Action
Athletes take consistent, values-driven action, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult. For example, the athlete will consistently practice a skill, even if it brings discomfort when they do not get the skill right the first time.
Together, these processes help athletes move from reactive to intentional performance.

What This Means for Confidence

• Traditional confidence is often outcome-based: “I feel confident because I performed well.”
• ACT builds values-based confidence: “I can show up and perform in alignment with who I want to be, regardless of the outcome.”

This type of confidence is:

• More stable
• More resilient to setbacks
• Less dependent on external validation

Research shows that psychological flexibility is associated with improved emotional regulation, resilience, and performance consistency in athletes, thus leading to improved confidence (Ho et al., 2022).

What This Looks Like in Practice

This approach is highly practical and directly applicable to sport.
With ACT, athletes learn how to:

• Handle negative thoughts during performance without spiraling
• Stay present instead of overthinking
• Respond to mistakes without losing composure
• Continue performing effectively under pressure
• Reconnect to purpose during slumps or injury

Instead of trying to “feel confident” first, athletes learn to act with confidence, even when doubt is present.

Why This Matters

Confidence impacts far more than performance. It influences:

• Motivation and persistence
• Mental health and overall well-being
• Identity development
• Long-term sport participation

When confidence is fragile, athletes are more likely to disengage from their sport or give up when things get difficult. Not because they lack ability, but because they lack sustainable psychological skills.

Final Thoughts

Confidence is not built by eliminating self-doubt. It’s built by learning how to move forward with it by your side, instead of in the driver’s seat.
When athletes develop psychological flexibility, they gain the ability to:

• Handle pressure
• Adapt to challenges
• Stay grounded in who they are

And ultimately, they don’t just become better performers. They become more resilient, self-aware individuals, as one D-1 athlete’s wellness journey shows.
That’s the kind of confidence that lasts.

References

Hayes, S. C. (2004). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, relational frame theory, and the third wave of behavioral and cognitive therapies. Behavior Therapy, 35(4), 639-665.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1-25.
Ho, Y. Y., et al. (2022). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in sport psychology: A systematic review. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 24, 1-15.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion.
Vealey, R. S. (2001). Understanding and enhancing self-confidence in athletes. In R. N. Singer, H. A. Hausenblas, & C. M. Janelle (Eds.), Handbook of sport psychology (pp. 550-565). Wiley.
If you or someone you know could benefit from support, Pillars of Wellness is here to help. Our Sport Psychology & Performance Coaching team works with athletes at every level. Please visit pillarsinspires.com or call (219) 323-3311 for more information or to schedule an intake. Most insurances are accepted.

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