The Power of Friendship
By: LINDSAY ALCOCK, MA, LMHC-A, NCC
Greetings friends!
National Friendship Day is coming up on July 30th, and what an exciting day that is! Whether you’re just learning about it now, have known about it for years, or even plan something special for the day with friends, the impact of our friends on our life is undeniable.
A good friend is there in the good and bad times, pushes you to be better, and celebrates your successes with you. Friends can be lifelong or be there for a season. They can understand you in a way that is unique from your family or significant other, and they can even become those things. Friendships can look many different ways, but they are all dependent on mutual respect and trust.
As clinicians, we like to assess a client’s protective factors, or things that are on their side that can help them progress in their journey. Close relationships with friends and/or family is one of the main protective factors we consider, and for a good reason! We are social beings and do not thrive in isolation. There are times in everyone’s lives where they wish they had more friends or better friends, it’s a fact of life. Loneliness is just the distance between the social connections we have at a given time and the level of social connection we want. Friends are a major factor in this “gap”. When we have close relationships we can rely on outside of our family or a romantic partner, we tend to handle life’s stressors more effectively. Almost every diagnosis can be positively impacted by close relationships and sharing life with someone else.
Friendships are not without disagreements, however, making up after a fight can help strengthen bonds as long as both parties are open and willing to consider the other’s perspective. You don’t have to agree with your friend on everything to maintain a friendship, but having an open mind and assuming the best often helps.
All of this is great, but may be impractical for those who lack deep friendships. It can be hard to make friends in all stages of life, but here are some tips to building strong, lasting friendships:
- Be the type of friend you wish you had (ie. if you want to go to Sunday brunch with friends, invite some people to brunch on Sunday)
- Try talking with people you may interact with but have little knowledge of
- Offer a sincere compliment to someone, it may start a conversation
- Try something new where you can meet people (a book club, a sport, an art class, etc.)
- Reach out to an old friend you’ve lost touch with
- Be yourself and keep trying! It may feel discouraging if friends don’t appear right away, but there are people who will love you for exactly who you are. Do not settle for “friends” that just tolerate you, that’s not true friendship